Filing for divorce is a stressful time. You are putting everything on the line to separate from someone and start a new life. The mere thought of change can paralyze even the bravest among us.
Written by Betsey Williams, this article was originally published at Sacramento Collaborative Divorce, a Sacramento-based practice group organized under Collaborative Practice California and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
Filing for divorce is a stressful time. You are putting everything on the line to separate from someone and start a new life. The mere thought of change can paralyze even the bravest among us. Change represents a loss of something familiar and an introduction to something new. You may find yourself fearful of the uncertainty in moving ahead. You are not immune from fear just because you may have initiated the divorce as opposed to having had it foisted upon you. Fortunately, change is often one of the best things that can happen in our lives. However, it does not come without a bit of fear and resistance before a change is put into action.
Fear is our body’s natural way of warning us that something is not right. We have innate senses that tell us when to avoid something or when to fight. However, if you begin to fear a person and that person is your husband or wife, then things can get out of control. Fear can take hold in the uncertainty of the future and lack of trust in your spouse. Sometimes, the thing we fear the most is change. A divorce coach will help you see that not all change is bad and that change can lead to a greater perspective on life.
How Fear Impacts the Process of Divorce
Fear will no doubt happen during the divorce process. Fear can change the way that the divorce process is done without the participating parties even realizing it. For example: One partner may have been responsible for the finances with the other partner having minimal understanding about budgets, investments and retirement funds. The fear of having to take on those responsibilities can be groundbreaking and may cause a person to want to avoid that stress. Rest assured, if someone is unhappy in a relationship staying where it is comfortable will most certainly not change the situation in any way.
Seeking Help from a Divorce Coach
Thankfully, there is an outside perspective that can help this situation immensely. A divorce coach guides the divorce process by helping their clients understand the importance of seeking independence once again. Emotions can run high, finances can run low, and stress can cause people to do uncharacteristic things. Fortunately, a divorce coach is your best bet to help you sail through turbulent waters. A divorce coach provides an experienced and guiding hand that will help you make it to the shore on the other side.
Working with and Not Against During the DivorceProcess
Working with and not against the soon to be ex-spouse will ensure that the divorce process goes smoothly. Whenever things reach an apex of negativity during a meeting, the divorce coach steps in to recalibrate the emotions. This can involve the parties taking a short break and then returning to address the areas of disagreement. A Collaborative Divorce enables individuals to work together in order to get to a divorce settlement that everyone can agree on. Fear about the future is addressed in the Collaborative Divorce process. This assists clients to separate peacefully so that all parties can set sail to positive new ventures in their lives.